So Young

I have been looking for a metaphor that helps me understand this whole breast cancer business.  For the moment I have settled on journey.  It seems to me a journey takes you from point A to point B.  While you might return to point A following the journey, you return older, perhaps wiser and always with a few stories to tell.    

I have done what many would consider some pretty adventurous traveling.  I learned a great deal about myself from traveling.  I am always anxious in the days before I leave to go someplace new.  I honestly don’t like the “traveling” part and worry that something (delayed flights, missed connections) will go wrong along the way.  However, I also know that once I arrive somewhere, no matter how unfamiliar, I am adapt fairly quickly.  I know I am a very resilient person. 

I also know I meet incredible people on these journeys – people who guide and direct me, connect with me on a heart to heart level, and some even become lifelong friends.  To take advice from Mr. Rogers’ mom, I look for the helpers.

The next leg of my healing journey is going to involve chemotherapy.  Yesterday, I met with two oncologists at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester.  They explained to me that current research and treatment of breast cancer focuses more on the biology of specific cancer, and less on the size.  An individual might have two-centimeter tumor but the specific characteristics of that cancer make it less likely to reoccur.  Or someone can have a smaller than .5-centimeter tumor with characteristics that make it more likely to reoccur.  I am in the second category with the added feature that I had multiple sites with smaller than .5-centimeter lesions of invasive lobular cancer that were also estrogen positive and Her2+.  I know I will learn a whole heck of lot more about Her2+ cancer but it is consistently described as “aggressive” and is one of those nasty, little buggers that returns and spreads.  And since I am so young, it makes sense to do the chemotherapy followed by the estrogen suppression.  

I needed to emphasize that so young.  I turned 58 on Saturday and had an absolutely glorious and fabulous birthday.  However, I live in a world surrounded by 18 -22 year old college students and most of the time I feel the exact opposite of so young, so I get a kick out of being told that over and over again.

I also appreciated that the doctors at Rochester Mayo gave me an understandable summary of my chemotherapy treatment options with detailed risks and benefits.  I am opting for “TCH”, which stands for Taxotere, Carboplatin, and Herceptin.  The regiment is “once every three weeks for six cycles” followed by Herceptin (the drug that specifically targets the Her2) alone for one year.  Followed by Tamoxifen for five years.  

That is enough information for now.  Tomorrow morning (Wednesday, April 17^th) I am going to have a “portacath” put in, so they don’t need to poke me for every blood draw and I.V. (As I have discovered, I have my mom’s rolling veins.) Thursday, April 18^th I will have treatment #1 for chemotherapy.  I told a few of my friends I was going to make a decision, and then not look back and second guess myself.  That is what I am doing.  Come Thursday, Thundercats are go.  I will report back from the field.